Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the day after is always just damage control
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
