If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
