Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
