I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
