So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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