And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Boobs speak an international language.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
