I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
