So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
