whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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