I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
