Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
