i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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