my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
it's like iHOP with fire
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
