I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
