I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
