ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize