don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
