oh god the rape fog is back!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize