All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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