Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize