I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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