yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I understand Curling. That high.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
