summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
