Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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