Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
