honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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