You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize