I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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