Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
