this beer tastes like vomit already
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
