when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
this will be a night to untag.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
