I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
