We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I looked at my own cervix.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
