im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
