I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
