I hate your face
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
high people should be assigned attendants
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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