Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
