After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I love you. Go after that dick
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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