I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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