If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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