Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I need to align my fucking chakras
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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