Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
