yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
