Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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