Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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