The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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