Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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