that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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