He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize