I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Sacagawea was the original milf.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
