I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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