so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
