I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize