I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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