Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
