Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
