oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So many bounce houses so little time
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize