shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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