Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
