Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
