I just cut my nipple shaving
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
