Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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