Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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