I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize