PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
