I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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