she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
