He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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