This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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