I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize