She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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