If i come over, it means nothing
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize