it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
do nipples grow back?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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