I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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