he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
