You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
