where am i from again
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
